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We can’t change the past, but we can change the impact our past has on our future.
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But in order to do this, we must do the work to forgive, and forgiveness can be hard.
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Forgiveness requires us to honor the pain and lessons our past carries.
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It means, that like a warrior, we brave the battlefield of our thoughts, emotions, and moral dilemmas.
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It also means that we train ourselves to put down the weapons of hate, revenge, and resentment so we can learn to wield the shield and sword or compassion, better boundaries, and loving truth.
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This is what it really meant to repent in the first place. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It meant to ask for forgiveness,
give forgiveness,
and receive forgiveness.
It means to be someone who was acting in a manner worthy of being released from the grip of shame, sadness, and anger.... mostly because you have done the work to feel, to understand, and to Take any actions necessary for your healing, so long as those actions aren’t intentionally causing harm into others.
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So don’t let your past block you,
Let it inform you, and free you for the same patterns or mistakes in the future. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Tag someone below who needs to read this 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

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“Spirituality is waking up.... and the first thing you need to know about waking up, is that you don’t want to.” - Anthony DeMello.
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We can spend a lifetime playing the victim to circumstances, excuses, and other people’s BS... but eventually, we need to wake up to the reality that we are the creators of our own experience. This doesn’t mean we are always the creators of what has happened to us, but it does mean we are responsible for creating what we do with it after.
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We are the ones who get pissed off when things don’t go our way,
We are the ones who sabotage the relationship by becoming overbearing or too clingy,
And we are the ones avoiding responsibility.
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Want to know if you’re avoiding responsibly?
You might not...
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The truth is, we avoid responsibility when we think we are the perfect ones..
the ones doing all the right things while other people cause us to fail, or flounder. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here’s a doozy....
If you’re constantly blaming others for your internal experience, you are playing the victim.
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And look, I get it.
It’s easier to blame others for our failures, sadness, and missed opportunities.... but we are always the ones creating our experience.
We are the ones who judge,
Blame,
Lack boundaries,
Shut down,
Blow up,
Lose control,
And bottom our.
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Other people may contribute,
Heck, they might even light the torch we use to burn our lives down... but we are still the ones who use it.
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So what can we do?
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We become aware.
We see our experiences for what they are... a by product of our choices,
Our boundaries,
Our insecurities,
And our strengths.
We own them...
The good, the bad,
the incredible
And the incredibly ugly.
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We stop casting stones through the windows of other people’s houses, accusing them of reactivity, and we sit with our own.
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We become intimate with our anger.
We let our pain become a purpose, a teacher,
And we stop making the world wrong for what we have created.
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Start here, daily, and the rest will follow.

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Some things are going to make dating a hell of a lot easier.
Like honesty.
Being as honest about what you want, when you want it, and what you expect it to look like.
And this applies for everything.
Be honest about the type of sex you want, how you want it, and what you want to explore.
Talk about what you want the relationship to look like,
What your standards are,
What you won’t put up with,
And how you feel about the other person.
Games have no place in relationship (unless it’s a kinky one, and you’re both on-board).
So tell the damn truth.
Be honest.
Own what you want.
And accept that others might want something different.... and that’s ok.

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Things can always be different.
But sometimes we hold onto ideas of a past or future that could have been, if only __________.
The reality is, we only distract ourselves from what we have by wishing for something that could have been.
And I get it. We all do.because we’ve all done this.
We all have those moment where we would LOVE to rewind time and do things differently.
The problem is, when we wish for a different past we often spend endless amounts of time creating fantasy situations where things are “so much better” or “would have been perfect.” But we don’t know that.
All we have is now.
All we have is what we did, or chose, or had happen to us.
So what do we do?
We accept, forgive, learn, and let go of the obsession with creating what could have been, so we can fully and powerfully create was is. #ManTalks

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Damn.
This is exactly what I thought when I read this quote. How do we love the parts of ourselves that no one celebrates? Cause that’s the game isn’t? We work hard to cultivate and curate parts of ourselves that people will love, applaud, and validate us for, but what about all the parts we hide from them? For a long time I sought out a lot of validation. From women, from colleagues, from family members, and society at large. I performed and acted like a clown as a kid all so I could get love and attention from the people around me, but it came at the cost of having to hide the parts I didn’t think they’d like. And to be honest, this was not only painful, but fucking tiring. Learning to accept and appreciate the parts of myself that others might not see, or might not value has been one hell of a journey, but it’s been incredibly worth it. Because of this, my relationships are deeper, my life is more fulfilling, and I am able to see my worth in an honest and balanced way. All from a realistic, yet deeply rewarding place.
So - what parts of yourself are you learning to accept? Comment 👇🏼