Finding Freedom In Relationships | Bryan Reeves

Bryan Reeves is a transformational life and relationship coach. In this episode of the podcast, he shares how to go about finding freedom in relationships.

In fact, over a wide-ranging ‘jam session’ Bryan and Connor discussed many fascinating areas of relationships. Bryan slowly lays out his 3-stage model of relationships including finding freedom in relationships.

Stage 1: “I need you to love me.”

In this stage, the other partner almost doesn’t exist. Each partner is simply lost in how they feel. It’s all about what the partner can do for us.

Of course, this is an inherently unstable existence. Because as Bryan says on his website, “Love just evaporates the moment the world stops meeting our conditions!”

If the individual is capable of moving beyond that stage they will move into stage 2.

Stage 2: “I will love myself.”

In this stage, the individual realizes that they have to be self-reliant in order to maintain their happiness. They don’t want to be dependent upon needing their partner to fulfill their needs.

They recognize that their partner exists and has needs just like them, and now they’ve decided not to take care of themselves in order to not be needy. It’s a lot of freedom, of course, but something is missing, and if they’re lucky they’ll move onto Stage 3.

Stage 3: “I am love, itself.”

In this phase, individuals in a relationship take their skills to a mature place. Yes, they’re independent, but now they’re also interdependent.

Bryan also calls it ‘we consciousness.’ Here, the fully individuated person chooses interdependence over pure freedom. People in this stage can express their needs and depending upon one another. This stage also comes with a mature emotional stability where people are able to express upset without name-calling and blaming the other partner.

In this enlightened state, partners can hold the seeming contradiction where they don’t give up their own needs while still holding the truth of the other person’s needs.

Guest Bio — Bryan Reeves

A former USAF Captain, Bryan Reeves has survived multiple dark nights of the soul and now coaches men, women and couples to create thriving lives and relationships. His viral blog, “Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)”has been read by over 30 million people worldwide, and his articles have appeared in Redbook, Thought Catalog, Good Men Project, Raw Attraction Magazine and more. His two books on Amazon and two online courses, including “Boundaries: Relationships Suck Without ’Em!” have helped thousands of people across the globe make sense of love and intimacy’s bewildering senselessness.

Learn more @

Bryan is generously offering listeners 3 Free Gifts that you can find @

(1) FREE E-BOOK: This Wild Waking Journey: 58 Insights on the Way To Self Discovery
(2) “LOVE, SEX, RELATIONSHIP MAGIC” Audio Course, Free Module 2: “Getting Real With Your Relationship Experience”
(3) Bonus Secret Offer.

More on

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Stop Saying Yes When It’s Clearly a No

When Your Partner Isn’t Attracted to You Anymore

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Thank You to the Team:
Editing & Mixing by: Aaron Johnson

2 Comments. Leave new

  • Connor and Bryan; how can I thank you for the gifts that I found within this conversation? I heard so many insights that deeply resonated with so many of the blocks I knew my man was grappling with; things that I couldn’t quite see in clarity until you stated them out loud. To have the insight into where guys are coming from is spectacular and there is so much grace in being able to understand certain perspectives that for me– I wouldn’t have been able to guess at! I’ve passed on the link to my guy and am crossing my fingers he hits the play button. Even if he doesn’t I have gained an encyclopedia of knowledge that can better meet him where he’s at and to save me misunderstanding his journey and heroic struggles. I love you guys! All of you! Where would we be without good men in the world? THANK YOU both, for doing what you do. x H